A simple word that just might change your life

Everyday language has profound effects

Have you ever considered that the everyday language you use could be keeping you psychologically and physically trapped into a way of living that’s not your own?

There’s a little word that we all use, pretty much every day. It looks harmless enough, just 6 little letters sitting innocently in a row. But when used aloud this word has an astonishing effect on the psyche.

What is this word?

Should.

Don’t fear. In this post I’ll be introducing you to a simple change that you can make right now that will prevent this insidious word affecting your life and the way you feel about it.

I should

Many people choose to stay stuck because the thing they’re stuck in is where they feel they should be.

  • “I should be settled in a steady full time job.”
  • “I’m 30: I should be married with kids by now”
  • “I should accept that I’m not getting any younger; I should just stay put and grow old gracefully”.
  • “I should be grateful that I’ve got a job at all in this economy”

520021_67420815The problem with the word ‘should’ is that it’s very punishing, and it’s a word we often hear in someone else’s voice. It could be society’s; our parents’; our siblings’ or friends’; but whoever’s voice it is, it is not ours.

You may even be doing it right now. Hands up anyone who’s reading this and thinking ‘I shouldn’t be so hard on myself’?

When we say ‘should’ it’s like there’s a little childlike part of ourselves that gets told that we’re not measuring up, that we are somehow failing. It’s unfair, untrue and unnecessary.

The problem with the word ‘should’ is that it’s very punishing, and it’s a word we often hear in someone else’s voice.

368784_8392Change ‘should’ to ‘could’

There is an alternative. Consider where your ‘shoulds’ come from. Notice when you say it. Whose voice do you hear? Become aware of your usage of this word.

Then make a decision no longer to punish yourself. Make a choice to change all your ‘shoulds’ into ‘coulds’.

  • “I could be settled in a steady full time job.”
  • “I’m 30: I could be married with kids.”
  • “I could accept that I’m not getting any younger; I could just stay put and grow old gracefully”.
  • “I could be grateful that I’ve got a job at all in this economy”

See the difference? Where ‘should’ punishes us, ‘could’ opens up a world of possibilities. Where ‘should’ brings to mind a stern ticking off, ‘could’ is softer, more thoughtful, more in our own voice. Where ‘should’ is black and white, ‘could’ opens up a rainbow of colour.

Where ‘should’ punishes us, ‘could’ opens up a world of possibilities.

Winter Trees at SunsetThrough changing ‘should’ to ‘could’ you can reclaim control. You get to decide what you do with your life, nobody else. Open up the possibilities; remove the unnecessary barriers and consider the wealth and abundance of opportunities that are open to you. What could you do next?

If you’re interested in learning more about other ways that you can reclaim your brilliant life and open up the possibilities of your future, you may benefit from coaching. Get in touch with New Shoots Coaching now for a free, no-obligation call to discuss what coaching could do for you.

 

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